HighestSelf

Beyond 10%     

Imagine using your brain ten times more efficiently!

How much more could you do? How much easier would life be?

This web site is dedicated to the idea that every human can use the other 90% of their brain's potential by rising above the lower self and transferring identity & authority to the highest self.

This lets us maximize the usefulness of our individual gifts, find meaning and minimize suffering. Living without purpose reduces mental efficiency. When we fight with ourselves - we lose, but the more efficiently we use our brain, the better we feel. Long term happiness and inner peace requires learning new attitudes & actions.

Our mature nature is one of gentle discipline, calm confidence and strong, balanced, resilient love. The challenge for each one of us is to grow into it.

How well can a Web site help a person learn to do this?

There is only one way to find out!

You are welcome to share the location of this site (www.HighestSelf.com) with anyone you care about.

There is no commercial or financial motive here, no pop-ups & nothing to buy.

What you will find is, a set of ideas which can help you in your process of change.

Your feedback, comments and suggestions help me make this more understandable. Just visiting makes me smile too.

                                        Thank you,    Rustin Berlow, M.D.

        Beyond 10%     

 

Imagine using your brain ten times more efficiently!

How much more could you do? How much easier would life be?

This web site is dedicated to the idea that every human can use the other 90% of their brain's potential by rising above the lower self and transferring identity & authority to the highest self.

This lets us maximize the usefulness of our individual gifts, find meaning and minimize suffering. Living without purpose reduces mental efficiency. When we fight with ourselves - we lose, but the more efficiently we use our brain, the better we feel. Long term happiness and inner peace requires learning new attitudes & actions.

Our mature nature is one of gentle discipline, calm confidence and strong, balanced, resilient love. The challenge for each one of us is to grow into it.

 

How well can a Web site help a person learn to do this?

There is only one way to find out!

 

You are welcome to share the location of this site (www.HighestSelf.com) with anyone you care about.

 

There is no commercial or financial motive here, no pop-ups & nothing to buy.

What you will find is, a set of ideas which can help you in your process of change.

 

Your feedback, comments and suggestions help me make this more understandable. Just visiting makes me smile too.

As of 9/14/05 I've smiled more than a thousand times : )

                                        Thank you,    Rustin Berlow, M.D.

        Problem? - Need Change!     

 

 

We sometimes want things to be different

...& we think things should be different.

 

We have developed conflict within ourselves

and with the outside world.

 

Stress has become less of a challenge

& more of a burden.

 

Instead of growing & feeling better

...we feel worse & less able to cope

 

Our Feelings, Thoughts & Actions

are not always the way we want them to be

and not the way we think they should be.

 

We are ready for change!

        Big Picture     

 

 

1) The Goal of Life is Happiness

 

 

2) Happiness is more likely with some habits

............and Less Likely with Other habits

 

We need to learn how to do good things

& not do bad things

 

How do we know what is good and bad?

by asking - what will lead to Long Term Happiness?

 

When we were young, we thought that

"good" meant what feels good

When we grew, we thought that

"good" meant what others thought we should do.

When we realize that

neither pleasure nor approval

leads to long term happiness,

we understand that "good"

must be defined as what DOES

lead to long term happiness.

 

 

        Maximizing Brain Function Requires Wisdom     

 

 

We each have a limited time here. The more time we waste, the less life we enjoy.

The more energy we expend randomly, the less is left for directed effort.

 

If we waste time & energy trying to control things we cannot,

we waste that part of our life

So we need to understand what we can and what we cannot control

 

What Can we control & what Can't we control?

 

        The Wise know their limits     

 

 

It is obvious that we cannot control the weather or our past,

but can we control what we feel?

 

Our emotions, in the moment, are often sensitive to what happens to us, to things we cannot predict or control.

Our first thoughts, in the moment, are often an automatic reaction to what we perceive and feel.

 

We CANNOT control our immediate (automatic) Emotional responses

We CANNOT control our immediate (automatic) First Thoughts

 

We CAN 1) Pause

We CAN 2) CHOOSE (control) our SECOND Thoughts

We CAN 3) CHOOSE (control) our Actions

        Accept Now - to Improve Later     

 

 

By accepting our emotions and first thoughts - now

and Choosing our Second Thoughts & Actions,

We CAN influence what we feel and think in the future.

 

We can educate our emotions (long term) by listening without obeying, hearing our emotions & 1st thoughts without allowing them to dictate our Second Thoughts & Actions.

 

It is by making choices based on our values & vision,

instead of our reflexes, that we can choose our path of growth.

 

over time - Thoughts which are repeated become Attitudes

over time - Actions which are repeated become Habits

 

Habits consistent with Long Term Happiness are therefore

good habits, long ago, this is what the word Virtue meant, (before it acquired the judgemental connotation).

        New Understanding, Clear Instructions     

We need Two things to make this change

1) Understanding, a vision of where we are going,

a perspective so broad that we are inspired to

imagine our self undergoing a transformation.

We need a view of our past, present and future

which is so complete that we feel motivated

to commit to sacrificing whatever is needed

for the process of personal change.

 

2) Instructions, a series of step by step tasks

that we can plan and complete. A systematic

list of actions which bring us measurably closer to our goal.

 

so - understand this - follow the first instruction:

 

Understand who we are & where we are going!

        We Are Each made of many parts - We are each Plural     

 

 

We each are a community of selves,

 

in time:

1) our past,

2) our present,

3) our future

 

in space & time:

1) our body, & physical feelings,

2) our desires, & emotional feelings, & "WANTS"s,

3) our mind, & thoughts, & questions, & "SHOULD"s

4) our spirit, & listening self, & self which is aware of our feelings and thoughts, & puts it all together, this is the highest self.

These selves all coexist, sometimes peacefully, usually not.

 

The more conflict, the less efficiency, the more suffering.

 

The overall goal is Happiness, for which we need to learn

who we are (our parts) and how they can get along (efficiency)

        Knowing The "Self" as many selves     

1) Body: warm or cold, comfortable or not

2) Emotions: relaxed or tense, happy or not

3) Thoughts: fast or slow, curious or not

4) Highest Self: present or hidden, aware or not

 

then let them all happen and notice that you are most

aware of your thoughts, like a one way conversation

a monolog, internal talking to your self,

asking "why", "this is good" and "this is bad"

commenting on the experience and never stopping.

 

You hear these thoughts, you hear yourself thinking,

you are the listener, who thinks you are talking to yourself

It is the thoughts, it is your mind that you are listening to.

It is the Highest Self that is listening.

 

 

Even though we are barely aware of our highest self

we can begin by assuming that it is there (here)

 

Of course it is there -

if we hear our self think,

then part of us is thinking,

and part of us is aware

that we are thinking about our thinking.

        Getting Motivated for Acceptance     

 

 

Maximizing the usefulness of our time & energy requires that we Accept what we cannot change so that we can save our resources to be ready for what we CAN change.

 

BY CONCENTRATING OUR ENERGY & TIME WHERE WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE

WE CAN ACHIEVE OUR BEST! FIRST CUT OFF WASTE - ACCEPT WHAT WE CANNOT CHANGE!

 

We need to learn how to Accept our Feelings & First Thoughts.

This will allow us to direct our attention & energy to

Choosing our Second Thoughts & Actions.

 

Read & think about:

1) Accepting Feelings

2) Accepting (First) Thoughts

3) Accepting Highest Self

 

 

        Trying to change what we feel is like trying to fly by jumping higher     

 

 

I am Aware That I am having a Feeling

It is called _________________

 

My feelings are what they are.

 

If part of me doesn't like or want this feeling,

that's OK.

another part of me knows that

having & accepting this feeling

helps me to learn Acceptance.

 

Every feeling has a beginning, a middle, and an end,

I've been through worse & Ill get through this.

 

I can sit still with this feeling, there's no need to act.

 

This (feeling) does not surprise me.

 

This is an opportunity to remain calm, grow & learn.

        Accepting my first Thoughts (T1's)     

 

 

(toward Accepting my first Thoughts)

 

My thoughts are what they are.

 

Every thought has a beginning, middle and an end.

 

I have had worse thoughts before, and I will get through these.

 

Just as the sky remains after the clouds have gone,

I will be here after these thoughts have passed

 

Just as I prefer to be accepted rather than investigated-

so do my thoughts.

 

Explanations would keep me stuck in the problem, :

so I don't keep explaining, I don't keep blaming.

 

Explaining "Why" I think what I think, won't help me,

Calm, Serenity & Peace of Mind are more useful.

 

If part of me asks "why?"-

I can Hear that "why?" & accept it

instead of trying to answer the "why?".

 

I do not believe everything I hear,

especially if I'm the one saying it.

 

I am aware of my feelings & thoughts, and

the part of me that is aware - is the REAL me.

 

I am not controlled by my feelings or thoughts anymore.

 

I ACCEPT my feelings & thoughts.

 

The part of me that hears, accepts and chooses - is the highest me.

 

    Accepting Myself as my Highest Self, most noble self     

 

 

(toward Accepting Myself as my Highest Self)

 

I Am Me, I am not ___________________ (your feeling here), I am me.

 

Part of me feels & wants,

part of me explains & judges

but I am Me,

the one who hears the other two,

I am the ears (of my mind).

 

I observe the fact that part of me feels & "want"s,

I observe the fact that

part of me thinks & "should"s,

but after hearing those two, I make choices based on

what will lead me to long term happiness

 

good used to mean what feels good,

good used to mean what others think is right

...Now Good means which

Attitudes & Actions lead to happiness

 

Gratitude & Forgiveness are gates to Acceptance.

I forgive & thank everybody for everything,

not for their sake, for my own.

 

Judging or criticizing prevents acceptance,

so if I cannot control it,

I do not waste energy by continuing to judge it.

 

By Accepting what I cannot control,

I can focus my attention & energy

on what I CAN control:

choosing my attitudes & actions.

(by what brings long term happiness)

 

The pain of growth is far easier to handle than

the suffering arising from avoiding change and the frustration of stagnation.

I welcome any discomfort or pain that will lead to growth.

 

I know that it sometimes is uncomfortable or even painful

to feel one way and act another or to think one thing and do another.

But only when my highest self directs my actions

based on long term happiness, will I find peace & my potential

 

By knowing the meaning of discomfort or pain, it becomes a sacrifice.

 

Anything that hurts is an acceptance opportunity &

I am willing to make whatever sacrifice needed to grow.

 

 

I AM where I need to be (here)

I am DOING what needs to be done (now)

        Gates of Acceptance     

 

 

How do we learn acceptance? Is it the same as admitting defeat? Is it the same as approving of something instead of fighting?

 

Yes & no. We can learn acceptance by understanding it carefully, by motivating ourselves and by working towards halfway goals: Forgiveness, Gratitude, Submission, Patience, Humility, knowing when the best something is nothing (Wei Wu) and letting go of the outcome (Karma Yoga) doing things for the sake of doing them.

 

Forgiveness is acceptance of something we think is not good, or not right.

It allows us to move beyond resentment.

 

Gratitude is acceptance of something we do think is good, or right.

It allows us to appreciate what we have.

 

Both of these involve judgement of things that are outside of us. Judgement and acceptance. In the end we simplify this to just - acceptance.

That saves time and energy, (otherwise wasted on judgement), which we can then use to have fun ; )

 

Submission is acceptance of authority and in some sense, the authority of reality & truth. We each have a tendency to think we are the ultimate or highest authority, but we are not. We each tend to think that the way we understand things is the way things are, but it is not.

It is overwhelming to think that we are responsible for everything, and it is arrogant. Humility, eventually, is welcomed as a relief. It allows us to have a more realistic idea about how we see things. It allows us to distinguish between our perceptions (our reality) and the way things are (truth). Some things are real, but not true (2 + 5 = 17).

        For My Own Sake     

 

 

Repeat the following, and as you do,

listen for the "yes, but not... because..."

The faster we forgive, the more we spend enjoying life

instead of fighting it. It is your choice.

 

""" I FORGIVE EVERYONE FOR EVERYTHING -

NOT FOR THEIR SAKE BUT FOR MINE! """

 

whoa! strong stuff!

 

See it, say it, commit to it and say it again.

It will come, and when it does : )

 

It feels so good to let all of that stuff go!

But it will not happen by accident or by waiting,

it takes work, so lets start now.

 

 

See it, say it, commit to it and say it again.

 

 

""" I FORGIVE EVERYONE FOR EVERYTHING -

NOT FOR THEIR SAKE BUT FOR MINE! """

        Say Thank You!     

 

 

"Thank you for everything - inside and out!

even for things I don't know about"

 

Thanksgiving is not just a day in November anymore.

It is a celebration every day,

of every dern thing that we would miss if it went away!

Why wait until it is gone - lets appreciate every ability we have. Walking talking, thinking feeling, loving, eating, being awake, sleeping (but not too much :)

 

When we stop, and thank the Universe (or whatever) for everything we have been given, we start to open up to how much we have and how grateful we can be for it.

We deserve nothing, yet we are given so much.

We did not choose to be born, yet we are afraid to die.

We were fed and kept, yet we are only beginning to understand.

 

We are nothing, yet we can love so much.

Love starts with appreciation,

appreciation starts with thanks,

thanks for reading this : )

        We Only Win - By Giving In!     

 

 

The Arabic word for Submission is "Islam". It derives from the same root as Salaam or peace. The idea is wholeness, integrity or completeness. We often think, in our individualistic perspective, that strength is the thing that gets us through difficulties. We think that our problems can be solved by self discipline and "toughing it out" or grinning and bearing it".

Eventually we learn that this is not always true.

Many of the most important contexts in life require more wisdom than strength, more equanimity than persistence.

Before we are forced to Surrender, we dread it, abhor it, think that it means the end of our self as we know it (it is, but in a good way). After Surrender, we smile a relaxed smile, we relax and lean back, feeling the warmth of a spiritual blanket on a cold day. At some point we admit that we are powerless over something, we come to believe there is something bigger than we are and we realize that we can only be happy by dedicating our will and our life to something bigger than our self. In the new context we find ourself in, things can seem very contradictory but the truth is, that in life, we only win by giving in!

        Accepting The Wait As An Exercise     

 

 

Waiting can be hard. It takes commitment, time and effort to learn how to wait patiently. Waiting patiently means accepting the feeling of restlessness but acting in a calm fashion.

"How calm can I be as I do this, even if i do not feel calm"

At first, it seems impossible, then difficult but do-able, eventually it gets easier and easier.

The other way of understanding patience is that it is the opposite, or replacing habit which can free us from irritability and frustration. Patience can prevent anger.

Patience helps us to endure pain without suffering from it. Patience permits provocation without injuring response.

The same things that would have been experienced as annoyance can be tolerated with equanimity.

Calm endurance of difficulty leads to tolerance, understanding and compassion. We can all become waiters : )